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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23774662">Two coffins [for sleep]</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/tothetrashwhereibelong/pseuds/tothetrashwhereibelong'>tothetrashwhereibelong</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shadowhunters (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Family Feels, Gen, Grieving and Mourning, Hurt No Comfort, Raphael Santiago Deserves Nice Things, Songfic of sorts</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 20:01:53</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>508</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23774662</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/tothetrashwhereibelong/pseuds/tothetrashwhereibelong</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It's the day of Rosa's burial, and Raphael is also in a casket.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Raphael Santiago &amp; Rosa Santiago</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Pls kill me</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Two coffins [for sleep]</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Title taken from the song "two coffins", by against me!, a band you should totally check out by the way. I was listening to it while writing something else and it inspired me</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The sun is starting to shine through the door, and Raphael can’t see it, because he’s in his casket. </p><p>It’s the most cruel part - the sun is shining, right there, just out of his reach, bright and beautiful and filled with happiness, and he’s in a casket. </p><p>Rosa’s also in a casket. </p><p>She’s being buried today, and he can’t go, because the sun is shining, bright and unrelenting, and he’s stuck in his own casket. It clicks when he closes it, and he feels locked in, trapped, stuck. </p><p>There’s six feet of dirt over her, and he’s suffocating. Drowning, buried, dead, decaying, rotting away. In his casket. </p><p>He wonders what her face looks like. It was already so pale, from so much time away from the sun. Is it fitting? Is she mirroring him? Did he condemn her, even as he didn’t mean to, with his inability to stay <i>away</i>, leave her alone like he was supposed to, stop checking in on her, to see the way she cried, mourned him, prayed, moved on, remembered, forgot? </p><p>She forgot so many things, but she didn’t forget him. She remembered him, and the stars. They were tied to each other, and he couldn’t let her go.</p><p>Her body is slowly decaying, and he is crumbling, falling apart, fast and rotten like an infected wound tearing him in half. He’s going faster than her, more painfully, screaming, crying, and there’s nothing left of him. The walls of the casket feel more real than his own body. But he doesn’t sleep, doesn’t dissociate, he keeps breathing the air he doesn’t need, feeling the walls, of his casket, and he hopes hers is filled with roses, that it’s beautiful and comfortable and real, more real than he could be, even hope to be. The world is full and bright, and he can’t touch it. He is the nothing, the unreachable, the forgotten.</p><p>She’s dead, and he’s deader. </p><p> </p><p>
  <i>Two coffins for sleep,<br/>
One for you, one for me<br/>
We'll get there eventually<br/>
In the dark of our graves our bodies will decay<br/>
I wish you'd never change</i>
</p><p>
  <i>How lucky, I ever was to see,<br/>
The way that you smile at me,<br/>
Your little moon face shining bright at me<br/>
One day soon there'll be nothing left of you and me</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Two coffins for sleep<br/>
Two coffins for sleep</i>
</p><p>
  <i>All the things that I have yet to lose<br/>
Will some day be gone soon,<br/>
Back into annihilation</i>
</p><p>
  <i>All things will fade,<br/>
Maybe it's better off that way<br/>
I wish you'd stay with me</i>
</p><p>
  <i>How lucky I ever was to see,<br/>
The way that you smile at me,<br/>
Your little moon face shining bright at me<br/>
One day soon there'll be nothing left of you and me</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Two coffins for sleep<br/>
Two coffins for sleep</i>
</p><p>
  <i>How lucky I ever was to see,<br/>
The way that you smile at me,<br/>
Your little moon face shining bright at me<br/>
One day soon there'll be nothing left of you and me</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Two coffins for sleep<br/>
Two coffins for sleep</i>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>apparently today is a having feels about rosa and raphael kind of day. I wrote this really quickly in a fit of inspiration so uh, hope you enjoyed it. comments are appreciated</p></blockquote></div></div>
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